Wait…what was I talking about?
Oh, yeah. My favorite Far Side cartoon is one in which the dorky kid raises his hand in class and asks the teacher, “Mr. Osborne, may I be excused? My brain is full.” Yet now, this seems to be the only explanation for my recent spate of forgetfulness. My brain is full. And the culprit seems to be the motherlode of useless facts I have accumulated that are now taking up valuable cranial repositories and clogging the synapses like plaque in the arteries of Hurley in Lost.
There is only one thing to do. I am going to have to delete
So…these bits of knowledge are available for anyone who wishes to adopt them:
The last names of Donovan and Melanie are Leitch and Safka (delete)
Carl (Reggie) Smith opened the 1967 Red Sox season at second base because Mike Andrews was injured
The northernmost point in the continental United States is in Minnesota
All the lyrics to "Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport" (delete)
The other two guys in the Jimi Hendrix Experience were Mitch Mitchell and Noel Redding
The Eagles who quit the band early were Randy Meisner and Bernie Leadon
Al Kooper played organ on “Like a Rolling Stone”
Crosby came from the Byrds. Stills came from the Buffalo Springfield. Nash came from the Hollies
The little thing that hangs down in the back of your throat is the uvula
You hold the tiller. The rudder is the part in the water
The two land-locked countries in South America are Paraguay and Bolivia
I hope that’s enough for now. I no longer know any of this stuff. You are welcome to it. I will be using the freed cognitive space to store knowledge that will increase my perspicacity and efficiency. In fact, I’m going out to complete a to-do list right now.
Crap. Where are my damn keys?
14 comments:
And here I thought the explanation for rampant forgetfulness was Estrogen Deprivation. Probably not your problem.
I think it would probably be good to hang onto the information about the rudder and the tiller.
I don't know where your keys are, but when you find them will you give me a lift to go searching for my camera? And my glasses? And my mother? I think I may left her downtown too...
You do make me laugh through the drool.
Paul,
Before you delete uvula, you might want to make sure you have a good footing on the difference between uvula and vulva.
Just trying to keep you out of trouble, mate.
Hahah. I have made some major boo-boos this week. I think I am just preoccupied. Maybe my brain is full too!!
You don't know how many times I've wished for a pensieve like one of the characters in the Harry Potter books has. He pulls the unnecessary or troublesome memories from his brain and stores them there. By the way, if you find your car keys, will you help me look for mine?
(Before I checked out the comments, I assumed someone, i.e., some woman, would have already zoomed in on that one phrase, but they all seem to have forgotten about it by the time they read to the end, so I dibs it!)
It seems to me there's a lot of your fans who look forward to a day when you forget to wear your pants.
*debbi*
I'm old.. and I'm not dead yet.
At least I don't think I am.. am I? hell, now I can't remember if i am or not!
Love the pants. It'd be nice if you zipped up, though.
Doddering and doddering well is an art form.
So thats my problem, I need to delete!! Thanks Paul.
I might as well upgrade too.
; )
Marie
I don't want any of those little bits of info. I have plenty of my own I need to purge.
Like Robin, I thought fifty-something memory loss had to do with estrogen. Maybe you just aren't in contact with enough of it...
Hey, when I left the Nascar race on Sunday with my ex, he had his keys but couldn't find his car. Fortunately, I'm sufficiently absent-minded myself to be paranoid about getting back to the car that's going to take me home, whether it's mine or someone else's, with the result that I'm careful to memorize landmarks and accordingly was able to take us straight to it, and he was impressed, much more so than he was ever impressed with most of what I did while we were married. Oh, well, c'est la vie...
;p
Judi
I just wanted to stop by again to tell you to have a WONDERFUL trip and DO NOT LOSE YOUR CAMERA!
Great! Just great Paul, I just did my own little delete...Now all my freed up space(shhhh no blond humor please)is now filled with your stuff!
And hell, I just may have known where the keys were...I aint a tellin' Na!
I think you might want to hold on to the information about the tiller and the rudder. And, I would like to adpot the land locked countries please. I will give them a good home, in my semi-doddering head.
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