Single Man Decorating

December, 2004

I have given in to the spirit of the holiday season and unearthed the box of holiday decorations. Yes, that’s box. Singular. Not even a big box.

You see, when a man reclaims singlehood, ascertaining a 50/50 split on holiday decorations is not usually a priority. If it is, he’s probably beyond the reach of any known therapy. For the first few years, a cone assembled from Rolling Rock empties makes a serviceable tree—he can even bring in the little pine tree air freshener from his car for scent. It’s not until grown children announce a desire to visit and he begins to sense a vague notion of his mortality that he begins to experience something called s-s-s-sen-sen (I can do this) sent-sentiment. There.

In my case, the task was to make something out of nothing. But I had an inspiration. I have a four-foot tall wooden model of a J-Boat in my front window. Why not string it with lights like the boats wintering over in marinas? I only hope that traffic on the street does not become insufferable when word of this masterpiece leaks out.

Then there is the matter of a tree, a real tree. I accomplished this task this afternoon, selecting a lofty 5-foot Balsam fir, which I had the maniacal chain saw guy trim to four feet. After all, my ornaments deserve to be displayed in arboreal splendor. Most of them were secreted to me by my daughter because she considered them "my" ornaments. Quite a collection, don’t you think?

The hobbyhorse was from my daughter’s first Christmas, and the red bell was crocheted for my infant son by my friend Eileen, a breast cancer victim gone now these many years. The life preserver, buoy, lighthouse, and windsock are reminders of my most recent boat, the Coracle. The ribbon fish were made for me years ago by a wonderful student named Trinh.

It occurs to me that this is a rather paltry display, even for a four-foot tree. But I have other things to hang on the tree. It’s just that these are the ones that matter.

2005 Update

Daughter Erin Kate is between apartments and is living at the bungalow this holiday season. Her unbridled enthusiasm for this time of year threatens to jolt a certain single man out of his seasonal lethargy.